Dear Professor Blackstone,
I am Hairi Anuar and I am writing to introduce myself. In
2016, I graduated from Singapore Polytechnic with a diploma in Civil
Engineering with Business before serving the nation with the Singapore Police
Force (SPF) in the next 2 years. Upon completion of my national service, I
decided to further my studies in civil engineering at Singapore Institute of
Technology to further enhance my knowledge and skills in the field.
Since young, my ambition has always been to become a
professional civil engineer. Despite having that goal, I was always uncertain
as to which field of civil engineering to specialise in. Therefore, I’ve
decided to further my education to gain more knowledge and deepen my
understanding of the various aspects in my field. I always believe that
learning is a life long journey. Besides my passion in civil engineering, my
other hobbies include strength training in the gym and motorcycles. Night
riding and exercising allow me to escape the daily stress faced in and out of
school. They also provide me with active platforms to interact and make new
friends. This has inevitably allowed me to become comfortable in communicating
with new people and moulded me into the social butterfly I am today.
My family and friends find me approachable and outgoing.
Often in life when problems arise, they will not hesitate to look for me for a
listening ear. My interpersonal skills and empathetic nature has allowed me to
make others feel comfortable and trustworthy. My journey in the Transcom
vocation in SPF has further enhanced my communication skills with people. Daily
at work, I would find myself approaching strangers and building conversations
with people of different ages and backgrounds. These many different experiences
have allowed me to gain confidence speaking to different people, shaping me
into the sociable person I am today.
With my outgoing personality being my strength, I would say
my weakness is procrastination. However, with my positive and optimistic
outlook on life, I have chosen to see this characteristic as a strength. I can
channel my procrastination into positive stress, in turn allowing me to
complete my tasks with quality and determination. Although sometimes I
procrastinate, I realised that I am able to complete tasks efficiently in a short-required
amount of time. Last minute work doesn’t necessarily equate to poor quality
work. Despite all these, I understand that starting early is a good habit to
cultivate and hence, I have tried to procrastinate less. When I am entrusted
with a responsibility, I will also definitely ensure that the job is completed
successfully.
I often find myself having trouble putting my thoughts into
words. That, I believe is caused by my weak writing skills. Brainstorming for
ideas in group discussions does not pose a problem for me. Putting my ideas into
words is my real struggle. Towards the end of this module, I have a personal
aim to be able to write confidently and expressively, channeling my thoughts
and ideas clearly into words. Step by step, I believe I can improve. I look
forward to that day, as how I do for your lessons.
Yours Sincerely,
Hairi Anuar, Group 1a CVE
*Edited 18/01/2019 12:44am
*Edited 24/01/2019 11:11pm
Hi Hairi!
ReplyDeleteAn interesting read and I felt that I got to understand you better!
However, I've noticed some errors.
1) Subject-verb agreements
- Brainstorming for ideas in group discussions do not pose a problem for me. (do --> does; brainstorming is singular)
- They also provide me with an active platform to interact and make new friends. (...provide me with active platforms...)
2) Fragments
- I often find myself having trouble putting my thoughts into words. That I believe is caused by my weak writing skills. (That, I believe,... or ...which I believe...)
Thanks
Darryl
Hi Daryl!
DeleteThanks for your comment, appreciate it! I'll take note of them and make the necessary changes (:
Hi Hairi
ReplyDeleteGreat letter, nice having you as my teammate.
However, there are some advice i would like to share.
1) My inter-personal skills and empathetic nature (inter-personal without the -)
2) have allowed me to gain confidence speaking to different people ( gain confidence in speaking)
Thanks and Regards
Melvin
Hello Hairi,
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing your letter with us!
I found that there may be room for improvement in your last paragraph.
1)"I often find myself having trouble putting my thoughts into words. That, I believe is caused by my weak writing skills"
I find that there is a disconnect between the two sentences, putting thoughts into words may not necessarily mean bad writing skills. Perhaps you meant that you had trouble putting your thoughts on to paper?
Anyway , your introduction letter was an interesting insight to the kind of person that you are and i am grateful that you were able to share it.
Cheers,
Franko Mamasito
Dear Hairi,
ReplyDeleteThank you for your patience. In terms of your letter, you have responded very well to the scope of the assignment. I appreciate the fine detail of your description for the various sections and the good fluency throughout this reflection. This letter is highly informative, and you make a clear statement of your interest in civil engineering, your hobbies, your strength and weakness in communicating and your goals. I like the way you support your main point with concrete illustrations. We really learn something about you here.
For language use, your peers have given good feedback. here are a few more thoughts:
1. minor edits
-- Besides my passion in civil engineering, my other hobbies.... > (This makes it sound like engineering is a hobby.)
-- in SPF > (Don't start with the acronym, but introduce it after the full phrase.)
-- to cultivate and hence, I > (punctuation)
-- paragraphing > (Your last paragraph needs a topic sentence, or a transition to link with info from the previous.)
2. verb use
-- My interpersonal skills and empathetic nature has allowed me ... > (subject-verb agreement)
-- Although sometimes I procrastinate, I realised > (tense)
3. phrasing
-- to make others feel comfortable and trustworthy > (So you want others to trust you, or be worthy of your trust?)
-- as how I do for your lessons. > as I do for your lessons.
These are minor issues. I look forward to reading more of your writing.
Cheers,
Brad